"After ejaculation a man is tired, his ears are buzzing, his eyes
heavy and he longs for sleep. He is thirsty and his limbs inert and stiff. In
ejaculation he experiences a brief second of sensation but long hours of
weariness as a result. And that is certainly not a true pleasure. On the other
hand, if a man reduces and regulates his ejaculation to an absolute minimum,
his body will be strengthened, his mind at ease and his vision and hearing improved.
Although the man seems to have denied himself an ejaculatory sensation at
times, his love for his woman will greatly increase. It is as if he could never
have enough of her. And this is the true lasting pleasure, is it not?"
(The Tao of Love and Sex by Jolan Chang).
There’s a widespread misconception that male orgasm must
involve ejaculation. The truth is that men can have several full-body orgasms
without ever ejaculating, and those orgasms can be far more satisfying than
ordinary ejaculatory orgasms. A man who pays attention to his body’s reactions
can probably attest to the fact that sometimes he can have an ejaculation that
doesn’t “move” him at all. It’s just a relief of sexual tension created by the
stimulation, but no real high–the kind of high that makes lovemaking
worthwhile, that makes you shake from the tips of your toes to the top of your
head.
In contrast to the “pump up and burst” type of
ejaculatory orgasm that usually leaves men tired, tantra coaches teach their
male clients to have non-ejaculatory orgasms that build up their energy
instead. Many men admit thereafter that they still feel their body charged with
erotic energy, and they become emotionally closer to their love partner. Some
report a strong sense of bonding to themselves as well. They experience
themselves as more loveable, and have higher self-esteem. Thoughts and feelings
are in alignment–that is, they no longer think one way and feel another. They
feel at peace with themselves, and connected with the whole of life.
Longevity During Sex
Every man wants to last longer, have more control over
when he comes, and be a sexual stallion in the bedroom. Holding out on the
orgasm is the key. A recent study in the Journal of Sexual Medicine found that
the median time it takes a man to ejaculate after entering a vagina is 5.4
minutes. With Tantra, we can do way better than that!
Lasting longer especially bodes well if your female
partner is multi-orgasmic. The more mastery and stamina a man has, the more
pleasure he can provide his partner. This kind of control takes sex to the next
level in mind, body, and spirit.
The Taoist traditions says that to make one amount of
sperm, it takes 100 drops of blood. It is easier to explain it like this: a
man's body is raw material for producing sperm. Each organ of Your body gives a
little away every time sperm is produced. It takes 72 days to produce 1 amount
of sperm and another 14 days for releasing it from the body. For the body it is
like putting miles on the car. One point there are too many miles and the trip
is over.
Same way there is also a loss on the energy level.
Precious life force energy is wasted every time there is orgasm with
ejaculation. Remember, orgasm and ejaculation are not one and the same thing.
Those functions come from two different parts of the brain. Ejaculation is just
a spasm in the lower area of Your spine. It has been put up to a pedestal and
made something great.
When looking at the topic of ejaculation, it is a big
menace of this world in many ways. The biggest difference between a man and a
woman in bed is that men ejaculate too fast and because of that women either do
not experience orgasms at all, or do not experience deep, long-lasting internal
orgasms. Female orgasms are short and superficial if the just have an external
orgasm. In order for a woman to experience internal orgasms, they need a longer
intercourse, starting from half an hour and more, depending on a woman. So, an
average man ejaculates between 4-8 minutes and most men cannot get it up again
in 5 minutes. Men need a break and depending on their age the break can be up
to a week or more, before they want to make love again. It is of course very
different in your 20s or your 50s.
Many men feel depleted after and ejaculation and some
feel depressed and at times even suicidal. Ejaculating all the time will not
give energy a chance to start circulating in the body and there is not enough
energy often to experience full body orgasms. Yes, men can also experience full
body orgasms for longer periods of time. And this is not a miracle, everyone is
capable of that.
Right now orgasm for men is a 3 second feeling of release
in the area of the genitals. After which he wants to rest and often pulls away
from the woman. Women want to feel connected after lovemaking, kiss, hug and caress.
And very often women want to make love much longer.
How Can a Man
Learn to Have Multiple Orgasms?
So, multiple orgasms are not just for women. By
practicing semen retention, you can learn to move that sexual, orgasmic energy
through your body so you feel the sensation of having an orgasm without
actually ejaculating. Retaining semen allows you to feel orgasmic energy over
and over, thus achieving multiple non-ejaculatory orgasms. This type of orgasm
is an energy orgasm.
To convert from physical ejaculation orgasms to energy
orgasms, you want to pull the energy from the genitals through the whole body
by doing the microcosmic orbit: You do this by inhaling and visualizing pulling
the orgasmic energy up the front of your body. Then exhale, sending the
orgasmic energy back down.
You can also use your hands, employing a feather-light
touch, to draw the arousal from the genitals to the top of your head so that
you're spreading the orgasmic energy through your whole body
This technique will help you transmute the urge to
ejaculate into a rush of full-body orgasmic energy.
Definitely, sometimes a man can reach a very high orgasm
by accident, in which he feels his energy expand beyond his body to include his
lover. Occasionally he can even reach high levels of spiritual connection as
well. But without the scientific knowledge of how to reproduce these effects,
achieving such results would be quite challenging.
Tantra, therefore, uses methods that can produce
repeatable results when practiced correctly. An important part of the tantric
approach is the understanding of energy–how it’s stirred up, expanded, and
moved to different parts of the body. If a man wants to attain more control
over achieving multiple orgasms without ejaculation, he’ll need to learn the
tantric techniques. These can best be acquired from women who have the
dedication, knowledge and experience to be tantric love coaches. These women are
called Tantrikas.
If a Tantrika is unavailable in your area, you might get
some very basic information from Tantra books or videotapes. But trying to
learn how to have non-ejaculatory multiple orgasms from such instructional aids
alone is comparable to learning to ride a bike by reading a book about
bicycles. To perfect your technique, you really have to get on a bike yourself,
or have a private Tantra session with an experienced Tantrika.
What Does a
Tantrika Teach Men?
These techniques come to us from the ancient knowledge of
Tantra, the art and science of becoming a more conscious person and lover. They
include methods of concentration to tune into your body sensations, without
allowing your mind to wander, or comparing this experience with others, or
rushing to reach a specific goal. They include very important breathing
techniques–some designed to increase sexual energy, some to surrender to that
energy, and some to control that energy. Also important are techniques designed
to use sound in a special way to vibrate different parts of the body to further
expand that energy.
There are men who feel embarrassed to make sounds during
lovemaking, believing only women make them. But after they try them and
experience the qualitative and quantitative differences of erotic excitement
that the orgasmic sounds can produce, they accept the idea with more
enthusiasm. Many of them decide to tell their love partner before lovemaking
that they’ll use certain sounds to increase and lengthen their mutual pleasure.
They invariably find their partners are actually turned on by those sounds.
The techniques of seven levels of movements–from the
shallowest and slowest to the deepest and fastest–can be used like precisely
fine-tuned instruments in a wonderful symphony (andante, staccato, etc.),
depending on the affects you want to create. For example, as you feel yourself
approaching the point of ejaculatory inevitability, you’d change your pelvic
movement from the yang to the yin–that is, from the fast and strong thrust to a
slower and more relaxed one, perhaps directing the thrust away from your
partner’s body and softening the penetration.
Also important are techniques of varying the touching
approach of your sexual organs, your heart area, and other parts of your body
at specific times during lovemaking. For instance, a relaxed perineum (the area
between the genitals and the anus) and strong love muscles (the pubo-coccygeal
or PC muscles at the base of your pelvis) are prerequisites for de-localizing
your sexual energy. In that way you can avoid ejaculation, and at the same time
increase your orgasmic pleasure, by re-directing highly charged sexual energy
to other parts of your body.
Feeling Your
Orgasm Through Your Whole Body
All the above tools and more aid in creating multiple
full-body orgasms–orgasms that are felt throughout the entire body, not just in
the genitals. An analogy that helps men understand the process is that of wave
surfing. As you’re building up your sexual energy, you ride the wave upward. As
you’re approaching the crest, you start riding along the crest, thus avoiding
going over the top. Greater and longer thrills are your reward if you don’t
allow yourself to go over the top of the first wave.
Another analogy that helps explain multiple orgasms is
that of climbing a tall mountain with several peaks. When you’re almost within
reach of the first peak, you hang out in an adjacent valley and feel the
blessings of the high energy you’ve generated so far. You can use tantric
techniques to sustain your erection for as long as you want, and at the same
time connect deeper with your love partner’s heart and soul. At this first
peak, you can have your first non-ejaculatory orgasm that involves the whole
body. It’s also called a Valley Orgasm. It’s as though all the cells of your
body are exploding with pleasure and excitement, while the lingam (the penis)
is still retaining most of its energy. It takes just a moment of concentration
on the lingam for it to recharge even stronger than before.
After this invigorating “rest” you can resume the
movement and the breathing that will bring you to the next peak, and then to
yet another. The full-body orgasms get increasingly stronger, until you reach
the highest peak of the Himalayas. This lovemaking could culminate in the
biggest, strongest orgasm that you’ve ever experienced. This is when you can go
beyond your body to feel your connection with the whole cosmos. You then can
really experience the feeling that you’re not only a cell in the infinite
universe, but you also are the universe, and can come back into your physical
reality fully recharged and more at peace.
If after many such peaks you decide to ejaculate as well,
Tantra recommends that you do that by taking the longest, deepest breath and
then exhale slowly, vocalizing your excitement while you’re ejaculating.
Tantric masters can prolong their ejaculations to last for nine consecutive
deep breaths.
A study from China showed that men who practiced semen
retention had increased their testosterone levels by 45.7 percent after just
seven days. That's pretty amazing. It makes sense, since we know that
testosterone is linked to sex drive. The more you store up, the more sexual
energy you have floating around your body.
You Do Not Have to
Be a Tantra Master to Use These Techniques
The best candidates for this esoteric knowledge are men
who are honest enough with themselves to admit that, no matter how good they
are as lovers, they can always improve their techniques and approaches to
lovemaking. These men are courageous enough to ask for help, and smart enough
to get it. They know their greatest wealth is the quality of life they create
for themselves, and for the women they love. These men also have enough wisdom
to know that experiencing full-body orgasms will take time and practice.
When practicing these techniques, there are many signs to
look for that can confirm you’re on the right track. A tingling sensation,
shifts of consciousness, a warm glow, a feeling of being lost in time, making
involuntary sounds and spontaneous movements, and becoming relaxed in a high
state of excitement are all signs of an impending full-body orgasm. The key is
to pay attention to the smallest sensations in your body. Instead of judging
them as “too small to matter,” you become curious about how big they can get-but
without making that a goal.
A wise man also knows that sometimes we have unconscious
resistance to pleasure, and that some limiting thoughts or emotions like shame
or guilt might come up. This is an important reason a qualified coach can be
very valuable. An experienced Tantrika can spot those more-or-less subtle
blocks and invite you to relax, own them, and move through them to a higher
level of bliss.
Increased Vitality
Many Taoist Tantra masters believed that practicing semen
retention (in which you get yourself to the edge of orgasm without actually
"coming") is a way to stay virile and youthful. When men are
younger—especially as teenage boys—they literally have so much ojas (the
Sanskrit word for "vigor") that they have wet dreams and ejaculate
while sleeping. The older men get, Tantra says, the less of this ojas they have
and the more important it becomes for them to practice semen retention to stay
vital.
Many men found themselves more energized, relaxed, and
even attractive to women, when they practiced semen retention. Edging, or
orgasm control, simply means bringing yourself to the edge of an orgasm but not
having an orgasm with ejaculate. We're not talking about trying to stop an
orgasm when it starts. That's not safe. We're talking about bringing yourself
to the edge of an orgasm, pulling back, letting the orgasmic feelings move
through your body, and then repeating the cycle over and over.
How do you do it? Well, practice makes perfect. Don't be
too hard on yourself if you don't master this right away. Timing is key here.
You want to either stop the sexual activity or slow it down just before the
orgasm builds up in your body to the point of needing to be released but then
keep yourself in a semi-aroused state until you build it back up again. You
might go from rock hard to semihard to soft, and that is the goal.
You don't want to wait too long into the orgasmic
buildup, because it can give you "blue balls," which happens when you
have prolonged sexual arousal without ejaculation. That can cause abdominal or
testicular pain from fluid congestion in the testicles.
The real point of this exercise is not to just stop
ejaculating altogether. It is to develop mastery over this sexual urge and
learn how to really use the equipment god gave you. Once a man has mastered
milking, semen retention, and edging, he will be able to last longer and choose
the best moment to release to an ejaculation orgasm.
Full-Body Orgasms
Feel Great – But They Have Other Benefits Too
Learning to have several full-body orgasms without
ejaculating can help a man circulate his sexual energy to flood his hormonal
system, and re-stimulate hormone-producing cells that usually reduce their
production as we become older. Higher production occurs during your developing
years, and then diminishes steadily with age. Men using the tantric techniques
can heighten their hormone production, especially the “free” testosterone which
causes high sexual desire and improves performance.
There are several other benefits to this practice.
Exercising your love muscles will strengthen them, and will help keep your
erection powerful and strong for a very long time. The increased circulation
that results from the recommended contractions and releases will help to keep
the sexual organs strong and healthy. The risk of ending up with prostate
problems diminishes substantially.
One of the most important side benefits of a man
mastering the multiple orgasm techniques is that it gives the woman time to get
greatly stimulated and her genitals time to get highly engorged, so that she
can have several orgasms herself. The ancient tantric masters knew that if they
satisfied their woman sexually and they honored her as an equal partner,
harmony in the family was the result. Besides, for some men, the greatest
pleasure is to see their women very turned on by them.
Have you ever considered how much money, time, and
emotional pain a divorce ends up costing? Some divorces happen because of lack
of trust, and lack of communication. However, when sex is great and men have
certain control over their sexual instincts, life becomes more fulfilling sexually,
spiritually, and on all other levels. The emotions and the spirit get lots of
nurturing, and the love between the couple grows much stronger. Trust and
communication improve greatly. When you make love for a couple of hours instead
of just a few minutes, you’re more likely to stop outer body movements and get
into deep communication by looking into each other’s eyes, and sending energy
back and forth to each other.
During these love-building breaks you’d communicate how
much you like making love to your partner, and how important she is in your
life. You might take turns flexing your internal love muscles to maintain your
erection. Don’t worry if your erection diminishes in size a bit. You can regain
the full erection shortly after you start moving again. In Tantra you’ll learn
that it’s more about moving energy than about “work.” You’ll learn to circulate
your sexual energy throughout your body–and hers–expanding it to gain all these
benefits while having a wonderful time.
In the end, even if you decide to ejaculate, you’ll have
absorbed most of the energetic content of your ejaculate, and you won’t feel
tired and sleepy afterwards. You can stay awake and share pillow-talk with your
partner, an activity all women seem to enjoy after making love. This is an
instance in which you can have your cake and eat it too.
Sources and
Additional Information:
