A is for Apple, and B is for Boat.
That used to be right, but now it won't float!
Age before Beauty is what we once said,
but let's be a bit more realistic instead.
A is for arthritis,
B is for bad back,
C is for the chest pains. Corned Beef? Cardiac?
D is for dental decay and decline,
E is for eyesight--can't read that top line.
F is for fissures and fluid retention
G is for gas (which I'd rather not mention--
and not to forget other gastrointestinal glitches)
H is high blood pressure
I is for itches, and lots of incisions
J is for joints, that now fail to flex
L is for libido--what happened to sex?
Wait! I forgot about K!
K is for my knees that crack all the time
(But forgive me, I get a few lapses in my
Memory from time to time)
N is for nerve (pinched) and neck (stiff) and neurosis
O is for osteo-for all the bones that crack
P is for prescriptions, that cost a small fortune
Q is for queasiness. Fatal or just the flu?
Give me another pill and I'll be good as new!
R is for reflux--one meal turns into two
S is for sleepless nights,
counting fears on how to pay my medical bills!
T is for tinnitus--I hear bells in my ears
and the word 'terminal' also rings too near
U is for urinary and the difficulties that flow (or not)
V is for vertigo, as life spins by
W is worry, for pains yet unfound
X is for X ray--and what one might find
Y is for year (another one, I'm still alive).
Z is for zest
For surviving the symptoms my body's deployed,
And keeping twenty-six doctors gainfully employed.