Before discussing the possible sexual problems,
normally associated with male aging, we would like to touch basis on the point
of reference. Problem represents the condition which is not normal for the
particular individual, and causes physical and emotional distress. Therefore,
we would like to review the important issue of what is the healthy sexuality as
the condition all the sexual disorder should be validated against.
Experts in the study of sexuality have identified
several characteristics of healthy sexuality. Healthy sexuality may include an
ability to integrate sexuality into one's daily life, as opposed to it being
some external event that occurs on its own. It may include components of
affection, tenderness, and companionship between two people. In an ongoing
sexual relationship, both partners should be aware of the important role that
sex plays in their lives. While it is important not to make sex an exaggerated
area of focus, it is certainly important to recognize sexuality as a natural
part of being human. Humans are naturally, sexual creatures. Healthy and
natural sexuality should also include an acceptance of our animal nature and a
positive attitude toward our bodies, our nudity, and our sexual urges. Some
theorists have described healthy sexuality as including a component of being
able to attach emotions and meaning to sexual experiences.
So, in general framework for your sexuality
includes:
- Your
body, including your sexual and reproductive anatomy.
- Your
biological sex — male, female, or intersex.
- Your
gender — being a girl, boy, woman, man, or transgender.
- Your gender
identities — personal sense of “I am a man, I am a woman” (which may or
may not be the same as biological sex).
- Your
gender role – what roles do men and women take on? What’s different?
What’s the same?
- Your
sexual orientation — to whom are you sexually and emotionally
attracted?
- Your
sex drive.
- Your sexual identity — the way you feel about your sex, gender, and sexual orientation.
There are also several formal definitions of what
constitutes healthy sexuality. Firestone, Firestone, and Catlett reviewed several
definitions and outlined the following: One definition reviewed by them
included having appreciation for one's own body, seeking out knowledge
regarding reproduction, understanding that human development includes sexual
development (i.e., reproduction, genital sexual experiences), interacting with
both genders respectfully and appropriately, understanding and respecting
sexual orientation, appropriately expressing love and intimacy, and developing
and maintaining meaningful relationships while avoiding exploitative or
manipulative ones. Healthy sexuality has also been suggested to include
components of communication and acceptance of love, expressing emotion and
giving and receiving pleasure, having the ability to enjoy and control sexual
and reproductive behavior without feelings of guilt, fear, or shame.
In addition to the tremendous variance among
people's sexual behaviors, determining, what is normal or healthy is further
complicated by several types of categorical variables that also impact
sexuality (i.e., gender, age, health). Thus, from person-to-person what
constitutes healthy sexuality may be very different. Sexuality, specifically
sexual function, is impacted by many things. When one considers health from a
holistic perspective, we begin to recognize that both mental and physical
health factors significantly impact healthy, sexual functioning. Anxiety,
depression, and other mental health conditions can greatly determine one's
sexual health. For example, reduced interest in sex is commonly reported by
individuals who are depressed. Also, physical conditions can heavily impact
sexual function. Therefore, what might be considered abnormal for one
physically healthy individual, might very well be considered normal (or
average) for an individual who has a condition that affects the circulatory
system (i.e., diabetes, heart-related conditions, high blood pressure, obesity,
etc.) Lifestyle choices (smoking, alcohol consumption etc.) can also impact
sexual function. It is important to note that this is not an exhaustive list of
the things that can impact sexuality: there are also many categorical variables
that influence how we define what is normal and healthy.
The
“CERTS” model of healthy sexuality
Wendy Maltz developed the CERTS model for healthy
sexuality; this model requires that the following conditions be met for a
person to enjoy healthy & satisfying sex: Consent, Equality, Respect,
Trust, and Safety.
- CONSENT
means you can freely and comfortably choose whether or not to engage in
sexual activity. You are able to stop the activity at any time during the sexual
contact. It also means that you
respect when someone else does not want to engage in a particular
activity, for any reason.
- EQUALITY
means your sense of personal power is on an equal level with your partner.
Neither of you dominates the other.
- RESPECT
means you have positive regard for yourself and for your partner. You feel
respected by your partner and you respect them.
- TRUST means
you trust your partner on both a physical and emotional level. You have
mutual acceptance of vulnerability and an ability to respond to it with
sensitivity.
- SAFETY means you feel secure and safe within the sexual setting. You are comfortable with and assertive about where, when and how the sexual activity takes place. You feel safe from the possibility of harm, such as unwanted pregnancy, sexually transmitted infection, and physical injury.
It takes spending time together and engaging in lots
of honest, open communication to make sure that the CERTS conditions are operating
in your relationship. That's why it is helpful to allow all aspects of a
relationship to grow and develop at a consistent pace with physical intimacy.
Meeting the CERTS conditions does not ensure yet
without reasonable doubts that you'll have amazing sex, but it can help you
feel more secure in your relationship and increase your level of self-esteem.
Categorical Differences in Healthy
Sexuality
When it comes to sexuality, it is important to
consider there are many well established gender differences, and differences
across the lifespan. Starting with sexual desire, it is a well-established fact
that men have a stronger sex drive than women. In 2001, Baumeister and
colleagues conducted an extensive review of the research and found that
generally speaking, men want sex more than women. In fact, men think and
fantasize about sex more than women. Conversely, women are willing to wait
longer to begin sexual activity in new relationships and are less likely to
masturbate than men. In terms of sexual arousal, on average it takes women
longer to get turned on than men. Finally, gender differences in orgasm exist
as well. Not only do men and women reach orgasm at different rates, but men can
reach orgasm through penetration alone, while a large number of women cannot.
Gender
Differences in Sexuality
Often, very simple things can have a great deal of impact on sexual health. One such example is the mere act of thinking. During sexual activity, thoughts may not always be on sex. This lack of attention to the present moment of sexual activity is defined as general cognitive distraction. In fact, it is quite common for an individual to experience general cognitive distraction as the mind wanders to the grind of everyday life (i.e., balancing checkbooks, paying bills, shuttling children to extracurricular activities). While general cognitive distraction may certainly impact sexuality, there are other specific types of cognitive distraction that can also impact sexuality.
Because thoughts and concerns about performance are
common during the act of sex, the term performance anxiety has been used to
describe this phenomenon. Performance anxiety can wreak havoc on sexual
function as well as make the sexual experience quite unpleasant. When we are
anxious, we receive a surge of adrenaline and a large quantity of adrenaline is
sexual arousal's worst enemy. Another type of cognitive distraction that can
impact the sexual experience is appearance-based cognitive distraction.
Appearance-based cognitive distraction is defined as having thoughts/concerns
about one's body during sexual activity (i.e., Does my body look ok?).
So when it comes to the way cognitive distractions
can effect sexual functioning, there are well-established gender differences.
Research has shown that while men and women experience an equal amount of
performance-based cognitive distraction during sex, women tend to experience
more appearance-based cognitive distractions than men. What does this mean?
Well, simply put, it seems that both men and women are preoccupied with
thoughts about their sexual performance during sex, but women are more
concerned than men about how their bodies appear while they are engaging in
sexual activity.
So, how does this greater concern about body image
impact women's sexuality? Despite recent concerns about the increase of body
image problems among men; women continue to be more impacted than men by body
image disturbances. Yamamiya, Cash, and Thompson (2006) reviewed the literature
and identified that body dissatisfaction is related to sexual dissatisfaction,
avoidance of sexual activities, sexual distress, and feeling sexually
unskilled.
In addition to gender differences in cognitive
distractions, the research also identifies sexual fluidity or erotic plasticity
as another gender difference. The term, erotic plasticity, refers to the
ability and willingness to adapt sexual attitudes and behavior to present
circumstances and influencing forces. In other words, erotic plasticity refers
to the ability to be flexible in sexual attitudes and behaviors. The scientific
literature has identified that women are more sexually fluid than men when it
comes to engaging in same-sex behaviors.
The theory of Female Erotic Plasticity was first
proposed by Baumeister (2000). His review of the literature on gender
differences in sexuality revealed that women are more flexible when it comes to
sexuality than men. It seems that female sexual responses and behaviors are largely
shaped by cultural, social, and situational factors. In contrast, male
sexuality seems to be formed early in childhood (or before) and is less prone
to change throughout the lifespan. Baumeister identified research studies that
demonstrated that women tend to change their sexual attitudes and behaviors
more throughout their life than men. For example, men tend to engage in a
consistent amount of sexual activity (with a partner or alone) over the course
of their lifetime whereas women may go through periods of time when they are
extremely sexual, and then go through periods of time where they are not sexual
at all. Baumeister also found research that suggested that female sexuality
tends to be more affected by religion, parental attitudes, peer attitudes, and
cultural than male sexuality. Finally, he found research that suggested that
women tend to display greater attitude-behavior inconsistency than men. This
simply means that women are more likely than men to say one thing (attitude)
and then do another (behavior). For example, a woman is more likely to say she
is against premarital sex, but then have sex outside of marriage.
Recently, researchers have found that it seems that
even female sexual orientation is more flexible than male sexual orientation. It
was concluded that for men in general, their experience is strongly related to
physiological arousal whereas for women it is less so. A study reported in 2003
showed men's arousal clearly tracks sexual orientation, with gay men getting
turned on by images of men, and straight guys by images of women. In contrast,
that study showed both heterosexual and lesbian women were sexually aroused by
male and female erotica, regardless of their sexual orientation.
Clearly, there are many other gender differences in
sexuality, but the above is intended to simply illustrate that male and female
sexuality are quite variable. Thus, what is considered "normal" or
"healthy" for a man might not be for a woman.
Age
and Sex
There are still people who consider their male and
female menopause as the sign of sexual aging, greatly decreasing, if not
closing completely the sexual life benefits they have experienced in younger
years. This perception is absolutely wrong, as you may have a great sex through
your aging process. Definitely, you should take care of your psychological,
emotional well-being as it is linked with your sexual performance.
The results, based on the National Health and
Sexuality Survey in Spain, in 2009, showed that 62.3% of men and 37.4% of women
after 65 years old are still sexually active. It is interesting that the most
common practices are kisses, caressing and vaginal penetration. On the other
hand, the least practiced are masturbation and oral sex. There are however some
particular factors that limit sexual activity in both sexes: being older than
75, not having a partner, having a low level of education, a poor perception of
their own health and sexuality, suffering from two or more chronic illnesses
and taking two or more types of medication. Another 2003 study results are
mostly correlated (while with no segregation by the gender): 60% of people over
the age of 65 said they had sex on average four times a month. And the most
important, the majority of respondents said that although their sexual
intercourse had changed as a result of age, they were not less satisfying, than
in younger years.
Sources
and Additional Information:
