A claim that middle-aged men are falling foul of a new
condition called cyberphobia is
simply dressing up an already-acknowledged condition of maturing man, expressed
in the scientific language, commonly acceptable in the modern society. George
Lotter, the director of a pastoral counseling center near Johannesburg, told a
conference on marriage that cyberphobia
is an all-consuming jealousy of an aggressive, successful young man whose
success may induce a midlife crisis in older colleagues. This crisis may destroy
a man's marriage, his job and his happiness. Professor Lotter uses the
word to describe the jealousy, and all that stems from it, of a middle-aged man
when a younger "star" threatens to upset the established
hierarchy. The young smart geek, with all the advantages of having
testosterone surging around his virile body, further undermines the older man's
confidence by actually understanding how computers work and the intricacies of
the Internet.
The term cyberphobia
might be quite applicable to the Hi-Tech World of the Silicon Valley, but in
general terms, it presents more generic aging man complex - the constant battle
of an old warrior to maintain his power and position, and one which he is bound
to lose, the battle which can be applied to any profession, line of activities,
or geographical community, including those, who have not experienced the power
of computers yet. According to Professor Lotter, a man knows when he is
entering the male menopause, or developing a midlife crisis, because he develops
cyberphobia. But the terms "male menopause" and "midlife
crisis" are not synonymous, while these terms are frequently used
interchangeably by general public, in media, and even by the professionals.
In multiple cases, the confusion on distinguishing between
midlife crisis and andropause (male menopause) causes the understanding
misconception and prevents either condition from being recognized or treated
adequately.
Loss of vitality and fluctuation of virility level are the
primary symptoms of andropause. This is due to the changes in production of the
male sex hormones. In most cases, this predicament occurs at the age of 45 up
to 55. But before the occurrence of andropause, there comes the mid-life
crisis.
Dr. Malcolm Carruthers, the author of the book Maximizing
Manhood: Beating male menopause explained the difference and occurrence of
mid-life crisis and andropause. These two distinct stages among males are often
confused as one. In its real essence, these two are linked with each other
since mid-life crisis happens between 35-45 years old right before the
andropause period. However, andropause may come early depending on how bad a
man reacts to his mid-life crisis. Or, that it could be delayed if he had
sustained a healthy and active lifestyle before this period.
Differences between
Midlife Crisis and Andropause
Let's run through a check-list to spell out the differences:
- Age - The Mid-life Crisis usually is confined to the ages of 35 to 45, while the Male Menopause is characteristically 45 to 55, as with the female menopause. However, if there was previous damage to the testes, such as from mumps, alcohol or vasectomy, the Male Menopause may happen earlier. There might be significant cultural and ethnical differences in the age of midlife crisis and menopause, but we will discuss them in the following publications in more details.
- Childhood - A disturbed, unsupportive childhood starved of love and affection, especially if accompanied by physical or mental abuse, is much more common in the background of someone experiencing the Midlife Crisis.
- Triggers - The death or serious illness of a parent or close friend is a common trigger of the Midlife Crisis, as such events bring you face to face with your own mortality. They make you feel that you are next in the firing-line, which brings up thoughts and feelings about the meaning of your life, and your past, present and future goals and achievements.
Paradoxically this crisis can come
after a period of success even more often than after a dismal failure. It may
even come when you find the love of your life, either in a person or an
occupation, but feel it is too late or an impossible dream. As the word
suggests, it is decision time, but you agonize over the choices. You consider
changing your job, your partner or your whole way of life. By contrast, the
Menopause comes after redundancy, after heavy financial losses, after the
business has failed, after divorce, rather than during the period leading up to
them.
·
Relationships
- The Crisis is by its nature often very much about personal and business
relationships. Questions about whether you want to go living with that person,
or working with another, or in that organization, are often uppermost in your
mind. You think about them again and again, and you even may dream about them
again and again at night.
During the Menopause, you are more
likely to feel too weary to want to make any changes, and too tired to even
dream about doing so. Because of this lethargy, your marriage and business
relationships may be falling to pieces around you, but you feel powerless to do
anything about it.
·
Sex-drive
- This is most often increased during the Crisis, either as a form of escapism,
or as a conscious or subconscious way of bringing matters to a head. Sometimes
however when a man is depressed by these events, as with other forms of
depression, the libido may decrease. With the Menopause the libido is almost
always decreased, though occasionally there may be an affair to try to revive fading
sexual powers.
·
Potency
- As with most things there are few absolute rules about this, but apart from
obvious physical causes such as diabetes, or the side effects of medicines such
as those used to lower blood pressure or treat depression, or where triggered
by severe psycho-sexual problems, only during the Menopause is potency
consistently decreased over several months or years.
·
Physical
Symptoms - Fatigue, aches, pains and stiffness in the joints, nights sweats
and other physical symptoms which are typical of the Menopause are usually
absent in the Crisis.
·
Hormone
Patterns - These are nearly always normal during the Crisis, unless there
is deep depression or heavy drinking. Though total testosterone is often normal
during the Menopause, the free, biologically active testosterone is typically
decreased. There are also often other more subtle markers of this condition
to confirm the diagnosis which can be found by careful and extensive hormone
profiles of the blood.
·
Responses
to treatment - The treatment of the Crisis is mainly by counseling and
support to help the person resolve the issues which are troubling them. Tranquillizers
or antidepressants can occasionally be effective for short term treatment if
anxiety or depressions are overwhelming. However they can be addictive, and
actually delay solving the problems which life has thrown up.
Summary
Midlife crisis is often a time in life when stability
has been achieved and the struggles that were once a large part of life are now
at an end. This new awareness that a life change has taken place can sometimes
trigger a crisis. For some men, new-found stability may signify an end to
vitality or youth. Many men find that after spending a lifetime working towards
the goals of family and peers, the end result is unfulfilling. This is also
often a time of change. Major shifts in career, marriage and parenting often
occur during this time period. And, along with the physical signs of aging
comes a realization of impending old age, retirement and eventually death. This
time of life will only become a crisis if the changes become too difficult to
cope with.
Midlife crisis, thus, is essentially a problem of
psycho-social adjustment. It need not necessarily have a bearing on a man's sex
life. It is thus not synonymous with the male menopause although there is
frequently a superimposition of male menopausal factors in middle-aged men
going through crises and this makes the picture hazy.
Male menopause, on the other
hand, is a distinct physiological phenomenon that is in many ways akin to, yet
in some ways quite different from the female menopause. Understanding
the andropause - the male menopause, as opposed to the midlife crisis - is more
straightforward, as changes affecting the physique can be measured.
Doctors can determine how much testosterone the testes are producing and how
hard the pituitary gland is having to work to keep testosterone flowing.
It is a grave mistake to assume that the only evidence of testosterone failure
is increasing evidence of "brewer's droop". Low testosterone
levels are often an important part of advancing impotence, but there are many
more direct physical causes for it which are of greater importance.
Both conditions are linked to the natural
aging mechanism of men, and proper self-awareness of what going on with
your mind and body will help you to get prepared to what is going to happen.
Being prepared and being ready for the change will allow you not only survive,
but also flourish and enjoy these life stages.
Sources and Additional
Information:
