"After ejaculation a man is tired, his ears are buzzing, his eyes heavy and he longs for sleep. He is thirsty and his limbs inert and stiff. In ejaculation he experiences a brief second of sensation but long hours of weariness as a result. And that is certainly not a true pleasure. On the other hand, if a man reduces and regulates his ejaculation to an absolute minimum, his body will be strengthened, his mind at ease and his vision and hearing improved. Although the man seems to have denied himself an ejaculatory sensation at times, his love for his woman will greatly increase. It is as if he could never have enough of her. And this is the true lasting pleasure, is it not?" (The Tao of Love and Sex by Jolan Chang).
There’s a widespread misconception that male orgasm must involve ejaculation. The truth is that men can have several full-body orgasms without ever ejaculating, and those orgasms can be far more satisfying than ordinary ejaculatory orgasms. A man who pays attention to his body’s reactions can probably attest to the fact that sometimes he can have an ejaculation that doesn’t “move” him at all. It’s just a relief of sexual tension created by the stimulation, but no real high–the kind of high that makes lovemaking worthwhile, that makes you shake from the tips of your toes to the top of your head.
In contrast to the “pump up and burst” type of ejaculatory orgasm that usually leaves men tired, tantra coaches teach their male clients to have non-ejaculatory orgasms that build up their energy instead. Many men admit thereafter that they still feel their body charged with erotic energy, and they become emotionally closer to their love partner. Some report a strong sense of bonding to themselves as well. They experience themselves as more loveable, and have higher self-esteem. Thoughts and feelings are in alignment–that is, they no longer think one way and feel another. They feel at peace with themselves, and connected with the whole of life.
Longevity During Sex
Every man wants to last longer, have more control over when he comes, and be a sexual stallion in the bedroom. Holding out on the orgasm is the key. A recent study in the Journal of Sexual Medicine found that the median time it takes a man to ejaculate after entering a vagina is 5.4 minutes. With Tantra, we can do way better than that!
Lasting longer especially bodes well if your female partner is multi-orgasmic. The more mastery and stamina a man has, the more pleasure he can provide his partner. This kind of control takes sex to the next level in mind, body, and spirit.
The Taoist traditions says that to make one amount of sperm, it takes 100 drops of blood. It is easier to explain it like this: a man's body is raw material for producing sperm. Each organ of Your body gives a little away every time sperm is produced. It takes 72 days to produce 1 amount of sperm and another 14 days for releasing it from the body. For the body it is like putting miles on the car. One point there are too many miles and the trip is over.
Same way there is also a loss on the energy level. Precious life force energy is wasted every time there is orgasm with ejaculation. Remember, orgasm and ejaculation are not one and the same thing. Those functions come from two different parts of the brain. Ejaculation is just a spasm in the lower area of Your spine. It has been put up to a pedestal and made something great.
When looking at the topic of ejaculation, it is a big menace of this world in many ways. The biggest difference between a man and a woman in bed is that men ejaculate too fast and because of that women either do not experience orgasms at all, or do not experience deep, long-lasting internal orgasms. Female orgasms are short and superficial if the just have an external orgasm. In order for a woman to experience internal orgasms, they need a longer intercourse, starting from half an hour and more, depending on a woman. So, an average man ejaculates between 4-8 minutes and most men cannot get it up again in 5 minutes. Men need a break and depending on their age the break can be up to a week or more, before they want to make love again. It is of course very different in your 20s or your 50s.
Many men feel depleted after and ejaculation and some feel depressed and at times even suicidal. Ejaculating all the time will not give energy a chance to start circulating in the body and there is not enough energy often to experience full body orgasms. Yes, men can also experience full body orgasms for longer periods of time. And this is not a miracle, everyone is capable of that.
Right now orgasm for men is a 3 second feeling of release in the area of the genitals. After which he wants to rest and often pulls away from the woman. Women want to feel connected after lovemaking, kiss, hug and caress. And very often women want to make love much longer.
How Can a Man Learn to Have Multiple Orgasms?
So, multiple orgasms are not just for women. By practicing semen retention, you can learn to move that sexual, orgasmic energy through your body so you feel the sensation of having an orgasm without actually ejaculating. Retaining semen allows you to feel orgasmic energy over and over, thus achieving multiple non-ejaculatory orgasms. This type of orgasm is an energy orgasm.
To convert from physical ejaculation orgasms to energy orgasms, you want to pull the energy from the genitals through the whole body by doing the microcosmic orbit: You do this by inhaling and visualizing pulling the orgasmic energy up the front of your body. Then exhale, sending the orgasmic energy back down.
You can also use your hands, employing a feather-light touch, to draw the arousal from the genitals to the top of your head so that you're spreading the orgasmic energy through your whole body
This technique will help you transmute the urge to ejaculate into a rush of full-body orgasmic energy.
Definitely, sometimes a man can reach a very high orgasm by accident, in which he feels his energy expand beyond his body to include his lover. Occasionally he can even reach high levels of spiritual connection as well. But without the scientific knowledge of how to reproduce these effects, achieving such results would be quite challenging.
Tantra, therefore, uses methods that can produce repeatable results when practiced correctly. An important part of the tantric approach is the understanding of energy–how it’s stirred up, expanded, and moved to different parts of the body. If a man wants to attain more control over achieving multiple orgasms without ejaculation, he’ll need to learn the tantric techniques. These can best be acquired from women who have the dedication, knowledge and experience to be tantric love coaches. These women are called Tantrikas.
If a Tantrika is unavailable in your area, you might get some very basic information from Tantra books or videotapes. But trying to learn how to have non-ejaculatory multiple orgasms from such instructional aids alone is comparable to learning to ride a bike by reading a book about bicycles. To perfect your technique, you really have to get on a bike yourself, or have a private Tantra session with an experienced Tantrika.
What Does a Tantrika Teach Men?
These techniques come to us from the ancient knowledge of Tantra, the art and science of becoming a more conscious person and lover. They include methods of concentration to tune into your body sensations, without allowing your mind to wander, or comparing this experience with others, or rushing to reach a specific goal. They include very important breathing techniques–some designed to increase sexual energy, some to surrender to that energy, and some to control that energy. Also important are techniques designed to use sound in a special way to vibrate different parts of the body to further expand that energy.
There are men who feel embarrassed to make sounds during lovemaking, believing only women make them. But after they try them and experience the qualitative and quantitative differences of erotic excitement that the orgasmic sounds can produce, they accept the idea with more enthusiasm. Many of them decide to tell their love partner before lovemaking that they’ll use certain sounds to increase and lengthen their mutual pleasure. They invariably find their partners are actually turned on by those sounds.
The techniques of seven levels of movements–from the shallowest and slowest to the deepest and fastest–can be used like precisely fine-tuned instruments in a wonderful symphony (andante, staccato, etc.), depending on the affects you want to create. For example, as you feel yourself approaching the point of ejaculatory inevitability, you’d change your pelvic movement from the yang to the yin–that is, from the fast and strong thrust to a slower and more relaxed one, perhaps directing the thrust away from your partner’s body and softening the penetration.
Also important are techniques of varying the touching approach of your sexual organs, your heart area, and other parts of your body at specific times during lovemaking. For instance, a relaxed perineum (the area between the genitals and the anus) and strong love muscles (the pubo-coccygeal or PC muscles at the base of your pelvis) are prerequisites for de-localizing your sexual energy. In that way you can avoid ejaculation, and at the same time increase your orgasmic pleasure, by re-directing highly charged sexual energy to other parts of your body.
Feeling Your Orgasm Through Your Whole Body
All the above tools and more aid in creating multiple full-body orgasms–orgasms that are felt throughout the entire body, not just in the genitals. An analogy that helps men understand the process is that of wave surfing. As you’re building up your sexual energy, you ride the wave upward. As you’re approaching the crest, you start riding along the crest, thus avoiding going over the top. Greater and longer thrills are your reward if you don’t allow yourself to go over the top of the first wave.
Another analogy that helps explain multiple orgasms is that of climbing a tall mountain with several peaks. When you’re almost within reach of the first peak, you hang out in an adjacent valley and feel the blessings of the high energy you’ve generated so far. You can use tantric techniques to sustain your erection for as long as you want, and at the same time connect deeper with your love partner’s heart and soul. At this first peak, you can have your first non-ejaculatory orgasm that involves the whole body. It’s also called a Valley Orgasm. It’s as though all the cells of your body are exploding with pleasure and excitement, while the lingam (the penis) is still retaining most of its energy. It takes just a moment of concentration on the lingam for it to recharge even stronger than before.
After this invigorating “rest” you can resume the movement and the breathing that will bring you to the next peak, and then to yet another. The full-body orgasms get increasingly stronger, until you reach the highest peak of the Himalayas. This lovemaking could culminate in the biggest, strongest orgasm that you’ve ever experienced. This is when you can go beyond your body to feel your connection with the whole cosmos. You then can really experience the feeling that you’re not only a cell in the infinite universe, but you also are the universe, and can come back into your physical reality fully recharged and more at peace.
If after many such peaks you decide to ejaculate as well, Tantra recommends that you do that by taking the longest, deepest breath and then exhale slowly, vocalizing your excitement while you’re ejaculating. Tantric masters can prolong their ejaculations to last for nine consecutive deep breaths.
A study from China showed that men who practiced semen retention had increased their testosterone levels by 45.7 percent after just seven days. That's pretty amazing. It makes sense, since we know that testosterone is linked to sex drive. The more you store up, the more sexual energy you have floating around your body.
You Do Not Have to Be a Tantra Master to Use These Techniques
The best candidates for this esoteric knowledge are men who are honest enough with themselves to admit that, no matter how good they are as lovers, they can always improve their techniques and approaches to lovemaking. These men are courageous enough to ask for help, and smart enough to get it. They know their greatest wealth is the quality of life they create for themselves, and for the women they love. These men also have enough wisdom to know that experiencing full-body orgasms will take time and practice.
When practicing these techniques, there are many signs to look for that can confirm you’re on the right track. A tingling sensation, shifts of consciousness, a warm glow, a feeling of being lost in time, making involuntary sounds and spontaneous movements, and becoming relaxed in a high state of excitement are all signs of an impending full-body orgasm. The key is to pay attention to the smallest sensations in your body. Instead of judging them as “too small to matter,” you become curious about how big they can get-but without making that a goal.
A wise man also knows that sometimes we have unconscious resistance to pleasure, and that some limiting thoughts or emotions like shame or guilt might come up. This is an important reason a qualified coach can be very valuable. An experienced Tantrika can spot those more-or-less subtle blocks and invite you to relax, own them, and move through them to a higher level of bliss.
Many Taoist Tantra masters believed that practicing semen retention (in which you get yourself to the edge of orgasm without actually "coming") is a way to stay virile and youthful. When men are younger—especially as teenage boys—they literally have so much ojas (the Sanskrit word for "vigor") that they have wet dreams and ejaculate while sleeping. The older men get, Tantra says, the less of this ojas they have and the more important it becomes for them to practice semen retention to stay vital.
Many men found themselves more energized, relaxed, and even attractive to women, when they practiced semen retention. Edging, or orgasm control, simply means bringing yourself to the edge of an orgasm but not having an orgasm with ejaculate. We're not talking about trying to stop an orgasm when it starts. That's not safe. We're talking about bringing yourself to the edge of an orgasm, pulling back, letting the orgasmic feelings move through your body, and then repeating the cycle over and over.
How do you do it? Well, practice makes perfect. Don't be too hard on yourself if you don't master this right away. Timing is key here. You want to either stop the sexual activity or slow it down just before the orgasm builds up in your body to the point of needing to be released but then keep yourself in a semi-aroused state until you build it back up again. You might go from rock hard to semihard to soft, and that is the goal.
You don't want to wait too long into the orgasmic buildup, because it can give you "blue balls," which happens when you have prolonged sexual arousal without ejaculation. That can cause abdominal or testicular pain from fluid congestion in the testicles.
The real point of this exercise is not to just stop ejaculating altogether. It is to develop mastery over this sexual urge and learn how to really use the equipment god gave you. Once a man has mastered milking, semen retention, and edging, he will be able to last longer and choose the best moment to release to an ejaculation orgasm.
Full-Body Orgasms Feel Great – But They Have Other Benefits Too
Learning to have several full-body orgasms without ejaculating can help a man circulate his sexual energy to flood his hormonal system, and re-stimulate hormone-producing cells that usually reduce their production as we become older. Higher production occurs during your developing years, and then diminishes steadily with age. Men using the tantric techniques can heighten their hormone production, especially the “free” testosterone which causes high sexual desire and improves performance.
There are several other benefits to this practice. Exercising your love muscles will strengthen them, and will help keep your erection powerful and strong for a very long time. The increased circulation that results from the recommended contractions and releases will help to keep the sexual organs strong and healthy. The risk of ending up with prostate problems diminishes substantially.
One of the most important side benefits of a man mastering the multiple orgasm techniques is that it gives the woman time to get greatly stimulated and her genitals time to get highly engorged, so that she can have several orgasms herself. The ancient tantric masters knew that if they satisfied their woman sexually and they honored her as an equal partner, harmony in the family was the result. Besides, for some men, the greatest pleasure is to see their women very turned on by them.
Have you ever considered how much money, time, and emotional pain a divorce ends up costing? Some divorces happen because of lack of trust, and lack of communication. However, when sex is great and men have certain control over their sexual instincts, life becomes more fulfilling sexually, spiritually, and on all other levels. The emotions and the spirit get lots of nurturing, and the love between the couple grows much stronger. Trust and communication improve greatly. When you make love for a couple of hours instead of just a few minutes, you’re more likely to stop outer body movements and get into deep communication by looking into each other’s eyes, and sending energy back and forth to each other.
During these love-building breaks you’d communicate how much you like making love to your partner, and how important she is in your life. You might take turns flexing your internal love muscles to maintain your erection. Don’t worry if your erection diminishes in size a bit. You can regain the full erection shortly after you start moving again. In Tantra you’ll learn that it’s more about moving energy than about “work.” You’ll learn to circulate your sexual energy throughout your body–and hers–expanding it to gain all these benefits while having a wonderful time.
In the end, even if you decide to ejaculate, you’ll have absorbed most of the energetic content of your ejaculate, and you won’t feel tired and sleepy afterwards. You can stay awake and share pillow-talk with your partner, an activity all women seem to enjoy after making love. This is an instance in which you can have your cake and eat it too.
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